Don't just do something, stand there.

We choose to do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they would be easy.

I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age than most people are allowed in. I tread paths by moonlight that others fear to speak of during day. I have talked to gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep. You may have heard of me.

Folks want badly to believe in something bigger. Because the scariest god you can imagine don't care. It's as cold and indifferent as the blackest corner of space. A god of nothing. That's why somebody's always trying to take control. In a family. In an office. On a court or in a chapel. In a battlefield or a statehouse. Make order and meaning out of all that nothing. And there's no better way to get people to kneel and weep at your altar than punishment. Every would-be god is a punisher.

You only get one life, so why not live deliciously? I like to imagine the afterlife is a plump peach with a bite taken out of it. Heaven is a bottomless bath of wine. My bible is written in song and poetry. I worship with Bacchus, baby, at the pulpit of pleasure. If you dare to offer me misery, I'll give you a sword to the stomach in return. I would much prefer to thrust in ecstasy -- so join me there instead?

You are depressed if you live in the past. You are anxious if you live in the future. You are at peace if you live in the present.

There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen

We are House Atreides. There is no call we do not answer. There is no faith that we betray.

Perfect is the enemy of good

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad

The Superman exists, and he's American

No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater... than central air.

Mockingbirds don’t do one thing but make music for us to enjoy... but sing their hearts out for us. That’s why it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.

Shared pain is lessened. Shared joy is increased.

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.

Knowledge without mileage is bullshit

A lie told often enough becomes the truth.

I like to start every day by drinking a double espresso and punching a shark in the face

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.

For me, I am driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world than I knew yesterday. And along the way, lessen the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that gets you.

Any Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on Paul's vote.

In an happy marriage you argue about the same thing every night. In an unhappy marriage you find something new to argue about every night.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together...

A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge.