What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.

Star Wipe is the Comic Sans of transitions.

My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.

The wise man learns more from the fool than the fool learns from the wise man

I've never let my school interfere with my education.

Nothing can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own

It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously

Good taste is the enemy of comedy

Adults are obsolete children.

Don't attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by incompetence.

It's totally pointless to try to "force" people to be good. That's like "curing" gay people. Not going to happen.

Three Can Keep a Secret If Two Are Dead

The more women there are about, the softer a wise man steps

I mean, whoever heard tell of a man gettin' too much poozle?

Be conservative in what you emit and liberal in what you accept

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

All that's required for evil men to succeed is for good men to do nothing

Sharpen a stick at both ends

Politics is not about power. Politics is not about money. Politics is not about winning for the sake of winning. Politics is about the improvment of people's lives. It's about advancing the cause of peace and justice in our country and in our world. Politics is about doing well for people.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed

Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.